I have said this a million times, “Just because you have the money to buy a business, does not make you a good boss, just because you can make kids does not make you a good parent, just because you can stir a crowd’s emotions does not make you a good pastor, and just because you have a leadership position does not make you a good leader.”
Have you ever been around those that just downright inspire you? These pioneers are forging ahead into uncharted territory, and for some reason you are wanting to follow them. Many times we want to talk about what a leader truly is, but I want to give you three signs you are not a true leader.
1. You Lack People Skills
Or at least you lack a willingness to learn. I am amazed at those in a leadership position, how they lack some of the most basic people skills. Grumpy, grouchy, whiny, fussy, argumentative, and mean are just a few of the attributes of a horrible leader.
It takes true skill to work with others and lead them along the way. Studying and learning people should be a lifetime work of yours as a leader. Our interactions should be skillful and on purpose to create a desired effect on others. Here are a few people skills that those in leadership positions need:
- Positive Attitude– A smile and a positive attitude is contagious. But so is a frown and bad attitude.
- Patience– When you deal with people you are not dealing with angelic beings. People are flawed and imperfect and need time to blossom and grow.
- Coaching– Growing people and helping them reach their potential is a true skill.
- Empathy– Feeling someone else’s pain. The ability to understand and share the feelings of other.
- Emotional intelligence– Being able to read other people and their emotions.
These are just a few skills we need to learn and without them it is impossible to be a true leader. You are not a leader because you try to get everyone to fit into your mold. You belittle them instead of inspire. You micro-manage instead of coach. You simply do not understand human emotion and the ability to tap into a person mind and help them unleash the potential that lies dormant in their life.
Most teams and even our children and spouses feel defeated, let down, crushed, depressed, because those in leadership fail to connect with them and motivate them. I encourage you leaders to take time to learn others. Pick up a book, look up information on a web page, or interview a successful people person and develop the skills required to be a leader.
2. You Lack Self-Confidence
According to Dictionary.com, self-confidence is the
Many people view a boisterous and jovial personality as someone that is self-confident, when in reality it can be the very opposite. Others view rich people as people with self-confidence, when the truth is a lot of rich people are insecure because of their riches. It amazes me how self-confidence can ultimately build confidence. How do you build your self-confidence?
- Have a thorough knowledge of your industry- Experts can be dogmatic in what they say and believe, because they know what they are talking about. Be the person everyone wants to come to in your industry because you have a knowledge that others have not taken the time to acquire.
- Read positive material- How to communicate with people, how to be a leader, devotionals, sales books, self-help books, team-work books, any thing and everything that you can get your hands on. The reason is there will be so many people that will throw negative arrows towards you that you will need an arsenal of positive thoughts to deflect their poison. Plus you will just need encouragement along the way to help you when you are down.
- Make sure your self-talk is good- Kind of the same lines as read positive material. But the truth remains what you say to yourself really does matter. Make sure your speech absolutely is consumed with positive words. I am not saying do not be realistic, but I am saying there is enough negativity in this world, we need to speak positive words to ourselves and maintain a positive lifestyle.
When we build our self-confidence we in turn build our confidence. Have faith in yourself and your abilities. MOST PEOPLE NEVER RISE TO BEING GREAT LEADERS BECAUSE THEY FALL INTO THE TRAP OF SELF-DEPRECIATION AND THEY LISTEN TO THE NAYSAYERS INSTEAD OF CHASING THEIR DREAMS.
3. You Have No Drive to Be a Leader
I work with people that simply want to stay on the base level, never realizing their potential, never motivated to learn, never excited about the numbers, always a bad attitude towards the customers, never willing to sacrifice. They tell me they use to be managers and assistant managers, and I say I do not buy one minute of that.
One sign that you are not a leader is simply you do not have the drive to be one. Being a leader is more than just a position for the successful leader. It is a chase and a challenge for true leaders. It is a passion of theirs that drives them to the top.
I get my stomach full of going to places and watching management that are so lackadaisical, so uninterested, so complacent, and could care less. It is going to take drive and passion to get your team moving and at the top of your industry. We need motivated leaders to step up and show their families, their teams, their churches, and any other organization that they mean business and want to go to the pinnacle and take their team with them.
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.
There are way more than three signs that you are not a leader, but take these three and chew on them this week. Make it a point to change one thing in your life to make you a better leader. I promise that when you do that you will become the successful leader that you always wanted to be.